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This week we're caring for...trusting ourselves
Meet Guest Editor Tiffany Trieu!
she/her/hers

INFJ
Cancer ☀, Virgo ☽
Inner Child Advocate, Self-Trust Coach
 

I wrote this letter
between my inner child and me. I call myself the mother of my inner child, hence the refer “mom”. As an adult, I see myself holding back from trust. Trusting that I can ask for help and receive love. Trusting that people will respect my boundaries and won’t abandon me.

The root of this fear connects back to my childhood. Growing up, my mom was overprotective and wanted to be very involved in all my life decisions while my dad felt detached and emotionally aloof. This still is a thing, but I’ve learned what’s theirs to hold and what isn’t.

For a long time I didn’t trust myself enough to trust others. I thought the only way for me to be free was to be alone. But these days, I’m cultivating the trust inside myself, so I can trust myself letting others in.

Because I’m ready to be in relationship. At the end of the day, we’re all in relationship with each other.

Even myself and I.

            - Tiffany Trieu (@itstiffanytrieu)

 
This week's Community Events!
Thursday, October 5, 6:30 PM ET
💞 Care Circle: Model Minority Myth Part 2 with Dinh Do & Kaitlyn Ramirez Borysiewicz

This week the Care Circle is open to ALL BIPOC* WOMXN AND NON-BINARY FOLX (*Black, Indigenous, and People of Color)! I want to hold healing space for as many folx as possible. I invite you to open your hearts and connect with Cosmos members! Come share, cry, celebrate, and heal together! This is a safe and inclusive space for everyone. As always, everything stays confidential in the Care Circle!

By Donation (Pay What You Wish): To keep the Care Circle sustainable and accessible for years to come, we are switching to a Pay What You Wish model for this event. If you find this space to be of value, please consider donating via Venmo/PayPal (@DinhhuongDo, same handle for both). If you're unable to donate at this time, we would appreciate if you shared this event so the community can continue to grow and thrive. Thank you!

Dinh Do (she/her/hers) is a mental health advocate, especially for historically underserved POC, as well as a proud Cosmos NY member. She is excited and honored to hold this much needed space in the upcoming Care Circles. Topics that are close to her heart: LGBTQ experience as an Asian, mental health, self care, yoga, creativity, and food!
 
 
🌱 Tender Things 
a *new* section featuring comforting things...cuz 2020 😅

This week's recommendations by Xoai Pham (she/they), a Vietnamese trans woman who is bringing forth a world where we all live without limitations on our bodies or souls. Through storytelling, she expands our collective imagination and returns us home to our divinity.
Xoai Pham via @xoai pham
Eagle Brand Medicated Oil. My mother used to rub this eucalyptus blend oil on my chest and belly when I had aches or when I was coughing a lot. When I smell it, I think of the comfort of my mother's hand, bringing ease to my body.

I have gifts from friends that include vases from Japan, a chieftain's bowl from Samoa, a fan from Fiji, sandalwood from Vietnam. It all reminds me of the lineage of people who've been fighting for the world that I dream about. That I am part of a legacy, as I build my own legacy.

Photos of my grandparents and friends remind me that even when I'm alone, I am in relationship to other people. I am always surrounded by spiritual energy

A silk headwrap makes me feel like my head is getting a soft hug. Highly recommend for anyone who wants to keep their eye soft and manageable overnight.


Responses edited for length and with 💜
Want to hear Xoai's story?
Introducing The Tender Place on IGTV!

The Tender Place is intimate conversation series exploring the messy space between the world we live in and the world we dream of. Each 30-min episode welcomes an inspiring BIPOC community leader as we journey into the big questions and feelings they’re navigating in their life and work.

Tune into her IG Live this Thursday Oct 8 at 630PM ET @JoinTheCosmos to meet Xoai Pham (she/they).

Xoai Pham is a Vietnamese trans woman who is bringing forth a world where we all live without limitations on our bodies or souls. Through storytelling, she expands our collective imagination and returns us home to our divinity.
Curated by Tiffany Trieu | @itstiffanytrieu
*all views belong to Tiffany and do not represent those of The Cosmos*

watching
I LOVE Pen15 on Hulu, starring Maya Erskine and Anna Klonke. 
It sounds cliche, but I have found so much healing in seeing two female leads in a show where they get to be their real, dorky middle school selves. They are horny (female pleasure is big ok!!). They are insecure. They go to wild depths to fit in with the crowd. Even though I’m an adult now, I can’t help but think, “Where am I trying to fit in as an adult?”

pen15!
reading
I’ve been reading a graphic novel called The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui. I’m taking my sweet time because it’s intense to read as a child of refugees. The novel is helping me understand my parents’ experiences as Vietnam War refugees. And as much as I’d like to complain why they haven’t shared their story, The Best We Could Do is helping me understand why that is. Firstly, it’s difficult to revisit trauma and share it with your kids who speak broken Vietnamese. But secondly, as a civilian, it’s hard to truly understand all the pieces of the historic puzzle. Even as we’re living through history today - how much do we really know about what’s going on?

I’ve also been reading Windows to Our Children by Violet Oaklander for work. My friend who’s a therapist recommended it to me. I’ve been curious about child psychology and how it can add to my inner child work. So far it’s been amazing and super affirming because a lot of what the author writes and shares about her experiences, are techniques I’ve done myself. You know that feeling when you’ve trusted your intuition, and you’re like I NEVER NEEDED TO LISTEN TO AUTHORITY FIGURES ANYWAYS!!! (aka academic validation)

listening
I have not been listening to podcasts because information overload!
I have a few artists I’m loving though: JAIE, Duendita, Maggie Rogers, Audrey NUNA. You need to watch Maggie and Audrey’s music videos. They are freaking amazing!

talking about
I have been opening up conversations around sex and female pleasure with my friends because I am DONE feel shameful about my own pleasure. It’s making me think, “Why haven’t I had these conversations before? Oh right, the patriarchy and slut-shaming.” but even deeper than that, “How can we have more accessible conversations around our sexual pleasure?”

questioning
i
have been questioning how satisfying romantic relationships look and feel like? Ones that are beyond the subtle patriarchal dynamics and break free from compulsory monogamy. I don’t have the answers yet, but IT FEELS BIG TO QUESTION THAT.

Side question, when will we get to eat in restaurants again? Because I miss trying all the dim sum with friends.

 

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